Are you married? No? Why do you wear a ring on your wedding ring finger then? What does it say? True Love Waits.. aww, is that from your boyfriend? No, it's a promise ring. A promise to stay with your man? No, it's a promise to wait to have sex until I am married. Or, at least that is what it meant to me when I put it on at age 15.
When people notice my ring and ask what it is, my answer is always different. If I don't have much time to chat, I say, "it's a purity ring." If I am being hit on by a forward Italian, I simply wave my hand and let it imply that I am married :) If I'm asked by someone who actually wants to listen, I will tell them the story.
"Saving myself" for my future husband has always been something I've assumed I'd do because of the way I was brought up. When I was young, my family was involved in a church that emphasized abstinence. During these lectures, I barely knew what that big word meant and when I was told to be "pure," I just thought, "Do you think I'm not pure already?" I didn't understand why sex was such a big deal because at that age, I thought I'd never actually want to do that. I just knew it was a big deal.
As a grew up it became a family joke to imitate my father who always seemed to bring up the topic of "staying pure" at the most random times. Swimming at our neighborhood pool, he floated up on a floaty to remind my sister and I to stay pure. Settling in on our couch for a movie night, he'd squeeze in with a bowl of ice cream and say, "why don't we instead talk about purity and what it means to love." This quality of making all moments meaningful that my dad has is so endearing to me now and I am grateful for these conversations. Though I don't consider myself a member of the church anymore, it had definitely been a big part of my foundation, and therefore part of shaping my own perspective on these things. Mostly though, I can remember having lots of open discussions with my parents, sister, and friends about relationships, true love, marriage, and sex, especially when I decided to start dating in high school.
The people who have heard of a purity ring or a promise ring usually are quick to assume that I am a hardcore christian who won't have sex before marriage because it is a sin. However, in my life, this is not how I view purity. For me, wearing this ring has become a reminder to be patient with myself in being able to give true love and receive it. Just as girls and boys gradually mature physically and emotionally, I believe we also gradually mature spiritually. Sometimes these three develop at different paces. For example, one might be physically mature but emotionally immature and a spiritual baby. I also believe that my spirit and my body are so connected, they affect each other more than I am aware of. I have been blessed to grow up surrounded by love. I have seen an example of the purest, deepest love between my mom and dad. It only seems to grow as they get older and wiser.
I am not waiting for permission from someone, I am not waiting because my parents told me to when I was younger, I am not waiting because of religion, I am just waiting for me. Lately, I have felt so empowered to know how much control I have over my own life. This past year especially, I have spent every day exactly how I wanted to spend it. I feel that I am honestly following my heart, following the path that this universe carves for me. It is everchanging and keeps me on my toes. So far though, life has taught me to trust, to live into each moment and have faith in my own spirit. It knows what it's doing!
Some people ask, "isn't it hard to wait so long?" Of course, yes, there have been times when I have questioned my reasoning for abstaining. But, if I really think about it, I am so grateful for each of my previous relationships because I have learned from each person I've dated. I have been honest with myself by letting things progress naturally. I am so excited to share my love with people around me now and forever. It is the most precious gift God has given us, to be able to love. It heals, it comforts, it inspires, it challenges, and pushes us to be the most we can be. One day, I will give myself fully and it will be wonderful.
Heviz, Hungary: The largest natural hot springs in Europe. After pruning apple trees for a week, this was a much welcome relaxation session with our team. Heviz is like a giant hot lake with some bars in the middle to hang onto to rest.
After proving that I can fit into little spaces, I was terrified of the view from that hole in the castle wall. 
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