Dress up and cheer up!

A few nights ago, during Creative Arts class, I was telling my students how proud I was of them for winning first place at our drama competition that was recently held at the center. Our team of 10 kids competed against three other school's teams. Amit won an award for best actor out of 40 students!!! If that's not enough, another 11 children did a great job singing "Do Re Mi" on stage in front of over 150 community members and classmates. Watching them perform after so much practice, I felt like they were my own children and I felt so much pride. When I was telling them this, of course tears quickly came, swelling in my eyes, making my voice all cracky. Even though they probably couldn't understand my words, I hope they could feel my heart and know how much I care about them.

Then, all of the sudden, I felt this powerful wave of emotion flow over me. It seemed to be coming from a source much bigger than me. I just felt the absence of their parents so strongly in this moment. I told them they don't realize how different their lives are from other kids around the world.

I went into the girls room after class to hopefully cheer me up...but it only brought more tears! they could see that I had been crying a little and immediately sprang into "cheer sister up mode." Hah it was like they all thought the same thing at the same time because Sangita started singing a song in English really loud, Durga stated telling me some detailed story, and Urmila draped a sari on me. It just made me cry so hard... Feeling like these things they always want to show me should be seen by their mom and dad. How many ugly paintings I made and showed my mom and dad, just to hear "wow! that looks amazing! Lets put it on the fridge art gallery!"? A lot. But, what about Sangita? Who tells her, "wow, I am so impressed that you sang that whole song in English!"? I did this night, before taking tons of posed pictures and dressing up in saris. But, I will soon leave this place.

It's strange.. Or maybe normal?...I can remember feeling anxious about leaving home for "so long" and now I feel anxious about leaving Sarlahi. In most ways, I am glad I feel this way because it means that I truly created some good connections here. On the other hand, I don't like to feel anxious before big changes..or anytime really. The transition time can be tough, but I know it will also be good to be home. This place has changed me though, I can tell. These ways really feel like mine. There are few times in my life that I felt were really just mine...my time here is definitely one of them and is very precious to me. It's time when I can challenge myself all the time and face who I am without the cradle of my family and friends. It is a place To show new people who I want to be. It is a place to experience loving people like a parent. It is a place to adapt to a new lifestyle. Anyway, it's certainly a place and time I can never forget.

Instead of feeling anxious, ill just practice wearing saris! I have a couple now and they are so comfortable... But take some skill to maneuver in properly. It's time i start blending in here:)